Grandma: Life Now and Beyond

[Joshua]

Over the past few weeks, my grandma has been experiencing some serious medical issues. I had the opportunity to be home in the middle of May and discovered some new things about her and our spirit. I also learned some about my family's perception of life, death, and fear of the unknown. I experienced some things I hope I do not have to again but in the end, I wish I was there experiencing everything still. Being far from home, I realize that I made a conscious choice to be distant physically, in a position where my help has its limits. At the time I thought I would be empowering my family to act collectively on Grandma's behalf. It never happened fully but having the first stroke helped make happen what should have happened at least 5 years ago.

I want to share some quotes from my experiences at home and since then from what my Grandma and others have said.

1)In January, I saw the light and I heard a voice saying that it is not yet my time.
2)Ask her if she wants to die.
3)I do not want to see your grandpa again.
4)There is so much I still have to do for my family.
5)I think this is the end.
6)What will I do without her?
7)She will always be with us, right?
8)I wonder what heaven is like.

I won't share the stories about how these quotes came about. Some can be inferred, others can be asked personally and privately. However, I want to make a commentary on each subject, using the Scriptures God has given us.

1) I wonder how many people end up only believing in the afterlife after such a powerful event. In my own life, I've witnessed the stories and signs of other people and things outside the material world, yet I have not experienced anything myself. I believe wholeheartedly in the afterlife.

“And if, confirmed by the Creator, the lover escapes from the claws of the eagle of love, he will enter THE VALLEY OF KNOWLEDGE and come out of doubt into certitude, and turn from the darkness of illusion to the guiding light of the fear of God. His inner eyes will open and he will privily converse with his Beloved; he will set ajar the gate of truth and piety, and shut the doors of vain imaginings. He in this station is content with the decree of God, and seeth war as peace, and findeth in death the secrets of everlasting life. With inward and outward eyes he witnesseth the mysteries of resurrection in the realms of creation and the souls of men, and with a pure heart apprehendeth the divine wisdom in the endless Manifestations of God. In the ocean he findeth a drop, in a drop he beholdeth the secrets of the sea.” (Baha'u'llah, The Seven Valleys, p. 11)

“1. O YE PEOPLE THAT HAVE MINDS TO KNOW AND EARS TO HEAR!
The first call of the Beloved is this: O mystic nightingale! Abide not but in the rose-garden of the spirit. O messenger of the Solomon of love! Seek thou no shelter except in the Sheba of the well-beloved, and O immortal phoenix! dwell not save on the mount of faithfulness. Therein is thy habitation, if on the wings of thy soul thou soarest to the realm of the infinite and seekest to attain thy goal.” (Baha'u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words)

“he, however, who acteth in accordance with God's bidding shall receive a blessing from the heaven of the bounty of his Lord, the Gracious, the Bestower, the Generous, the Ancient of Days. He, verily, hath willed for you that which is yet beyond your knowledge, but which shall be known to you when, after this fleeting life, your souls soar heavenwards and the trappings of your earthly joys are folded up.” (Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 55)

In a way, we can see death as a covenant to us from God. We are promised that this physical life will end and our souls will continue to live. Grandma was blessed to have conversed with Him in January. Through her spiritual eyes and ears, she knew His Will and was reassured it was not her time yet.

2) The context this question was asked was, in my mind, entirely cruel. I did not repeat this question. There is a stark contrast between accepting that death may be imminent and being at peace with the fact and actually wanting to die. We see examples in the Scriptures as with Jesus and Krishna in the 18th Paruna. Earthly death is accepted and welcomed for the fulfillment of prophecy. This verse is a testament to this history: “Unto their sincerity hath borne witness what the All-Merciful hath sent down in the Qur'án. He saith: 'Wish ye, then, for death, if ye are sincere.' Who is to be preferred, he that hath sheltered himself behind curtains, or he that hath offered himself in the path of God?” (Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 85)

The question also suggests that death is something to be feared. The questions also suggests a finality to one's existence. I believe the question was asked out of the person's own fear of what happens, if anything, Does the person believe in the afterlife? Maybe the person is comfortable with his/her own fate but is uncertain in how it applies to others.

“31. O SON OF BEING!
Bring thyself to account each day ere thou art summoned to a reckoning; for death, unheralded, shall come upon thee and thou shalt be called to give account for thy deeds.” (Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

Is it perchance that one that has reasons to ask a question like believes that he/she needs a chance to bring himself/herself to account before the Divine summons? I believe this is why we should do our best to treat people with loving kindness. Perhaps when one dies, we may not have a chance to make things right with that person.

3) Who will we see in the afterlife? What will we see? When I heard this, I had absolutely no idea what to say. He passed away in March 2007, and I know not where his soul is. There are beliefs that those who are united in marriage are bonded forever, yet doesn't a marriage have to be a real commitment in heart and not just on paper? Marriage is a holy institution and much encouraged in this blessed cause. Now you two are no longer two, but one. “Bahá'u'lláh's wish is that all men be of one mind and consider themselves of one great household, that the mind of mankind be not divided against itself.” (Abdu'l-Baha, Abdu'l-Baha in London, p. 78) “Consequently when the people of Baha desire to enter the sacred union of marriage, eternal connection and ideal relationship, spiritual and physical association of thoughts and conceptions of life must exist between them, so that in all the grades of existence and all the worlds of God this union may continue forever and ever for this real union is a splendor of the light of the love of God.” (Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith - Abdu'l-Baha Section, p. 373)

According to this, maybe the conditions for an eternal connection must be the two are as one, the spiritual and physical association of thoughts must exist between them. From my observations, this did not exist. At first thought, I would say that they will not be united in the afterlife as the marriage here on Earth had ended in separation, broken promises, but never a clearly stated nor legally recognized divorce. However, I have a sneaky feeling other alternatives may exist. What if, in the development of our souls after this current life, we are still supposed to account for our actions? It would not be impossible that Grandpa may have an opportunity still to do right to her. He may or may not given the opportunity, the latter I feel could be something Grandma fears.

4) Grandma has said this repeatedly. She has taken steps to try to bring the family together. I believe this is her final goal, to either reunite the family or to sow the seeds. I hope that during and past her life, this goal will be realized. “If love and agreement are manifest in a single family, that family will advance, become illumined and spiritual; but if enmity and hatred exist within it, destruction and dispersion are inevitable. This is, likewise, true of a city. If those who dwell within it manifest a spirit of accord and fellowship, it will progress steadily and human conditions become brighter, whereas through enmity and strife it will be degraded and its inhabitants scattered. In the same way, the people of a nation develop and advance toward civilization and enlightenment through love and accord and are disintegrated by war and strife. Finally, this is true of humanity itself in the aggregate.” (Abdu'l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 144)

Her goal is lofty and her desire is the building blocks of a greater unity. I pray she may have success.

5) I am unsure I want to comment on that right now. I do know that Grandma has had insights into her spiritual world. The moment this was said, she was in a great amount of pain and focused on nothing but the pain. Were the words the product of spiritual insight, pain, or both? I do not know.

6 & 7) What will someone do without another? Feel considerable pain? Anguish? Apathy maybe? My first thought personally is that have to move on with life and forever keep the memories of the life and spirit of the deceased in your heart. How do we do that? Prayer? Meditation? Stay as busy as possible to never allow a chance to even think about it? “O peoples of the earth! God, the Eternal Truth, is My witness that streams of fresh and soft-flowing waters have gushed from the rocks through the sweetness of the words uttered by your Lord, the Unconstrained; and still ye slumber. Cast away that which ye possess, and, on the wings of detachment, soar beyond all created things. Thus biddeth you the Lord of creation, the movement of Whose Pen hath revolutionized the soul of mankind.” (Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 39) “Say: O God, my God! Thou beholdest me circling round Thy Will with mine eyes turned towards the horizon of Thy bounty, eagerly awaiting the revelation of the effulgent splendours of the sun of Thy favours. I beg of Thee, O Beloved of every understanding heart and the Desire of such as have near access unto Thee, to grant that Thy loved ones may become wholly detached from their own inclinations, holding fast unto that which pleaseth Thee. Attire them, O Lord, with the robe of righteousness and illumine them with the splendours of the light of detachment. Summon then to their assistance the hosts of wisdom and utterance that they may exalt Thy Word amongst Thy creatures and proclaim Thy Cause amidst Thy servants. Verily, potent art Thou to do what Thou willest, and within Thy grasp lie the reins of all affairs. No God is there but Thee, the Mighty, the Ever-Forgiving.” (Baha'u'llah, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 59)

What about this idea? What if, through the knowledge that Heaven is closeness to Thee and detachment from worldly things is the Light, what if we keep the spirit of the one who passed away in our hearts, and allow that to guide us to the spirit of detachment. In a way, that should forever keep us close to the person we did not want to pass, while also allowing us to be detached from the physical form we miss, and attaining the station of Heaven ourselves.

8) I have not a clue. I just imagine any good thing without any bad things and that is what I would imagine Heaven, closeness to God, to be like. Maybe there is no pain, no worries. Maybe I would feel like how I do when I wake up after camping on the beach, or how it feels when I am holding a loved one in my arms. Maybe it is like I am never hungry. Maybe I have all the answers that I have ever sought complete with the full wisdom to utilize that knowledge. Maybe I feel nothing but Love. Maybe I feel Contentment. Maybe I feel Wonderment. Maybe I feel I am the richest being in the world. Maybe I will feel I am One united with God and thus transcended all my limitations.

“O thou who hast surrendered thy will to God! By self-surrender and perpetual union with God is meant that men should merge their will wholly in the Will of God, and regard their desires as utter nothingness beside His Purpose. Whatsoever the Creator commandeth His creatures to observe, the same must they diligently, and with the utmost joy and eagerness, arise and fulfil. They should in no wise allow their fancy to obscure their judgment, neither should they regard their own imaginings as the voice of the Eternal.” (Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 337)