Exploring Concepts of Spiritual Import
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Women Heroines in the ...
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Charity's Discussions
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Replied Feb. 9, 2008
Nature of The Manifestations of God??
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Nature of The Manifestations of God??
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Charity's Page
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I was born and raised as a Baha'i.... My father and biological mother divorced when I was about 4 years old. My biological mother didn't plan on having another child after she gave birth to me, but became pregnant with my sister 9 months after I was born. She abused my sister, and ultimately left us. My father came home from work one day to find us alone in our bedroom, and me desperately trying to figure out how to change my screaming baby sister's diaper ( I watched my parents change her diaper, but it's different when you're 4 years old and the baby is wiggling). My father remarried when I was about 6, maybe 7 years old. The saying, "Out of the frying pan and into the fire," would be appropriate for the situation if it wasn't such a huge understatement. My sister and I were both abused, emotionally and physically. I learned at an early age to bury my persona and allowed my stepmother to see only the parts of myself that she found pleasing. A lot of the abuse we endured was in the name of the Baha'i Faith. She tried to isolate us from our peers by using the Faith. The Faith I grew up with was very restrictive, very isolating, and a tool to wielded against us.
In spite of how the Faith was taught to us, I declared at the age of 10 (the NSA allowed children to do so using a children's declaration card), and my declaration became, "official," at the age of 15. When I was about 20 years old several events in my life caused me not only my to question the Faith, but also my belief in God. I withdrew from my community at the time, but became more involved in the Faith a few years later. I guess you could say my true fall from grace happened when I experienced several very traumatic events when I was 28 years old.... As a result of those events, and my own questions regarding faith in general, I withdrew from the faith two years later. I realize now that the Faith was not at fault for my pain, rather a few people in the Faith and myself were.
I am now in the process of trying to figure out who I am and what I really want out of life. I consider myself lucky because so many people who suffer abuse as children aren't able to break the cycle, to heal, and find themselves. During my healing process I have investigated other faiths, but I am still very much a seeker of Truth. I discovered that while my spirit still bears the weight of my shame and pain over what happened, it cannot be ignored. I found that I must rise above that in order to be whole and happy. Some days it's not so easy, but as I search I find that my good days are outnumbering my bad days.
I have been doing a fairly decent job of keeping tabs (so to speak) on the Faith, it was a huge part of my life and I have found that most of my values and philosophies still hold aspects of the Faith. I am not convinced that the Faith is the right path for me, I am more open to it than before, I may never be convinced, but at least I'm searching. I do know that before I commit myself to any path, I must be able to accept it heart and mind.
- Hometown:
- Buffalo, Missouri USA
Charity's Blog
H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama
and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.
Through violence, you may 'solve' one problem, but you sow the seeds for another.
One has to try to develop one's inner feelings, which can be done simply by training one's mind.
This is a priceless human asset and one you don't have to pay income tax on!
First one must change.
I first watch myself, check myself, then expect changes from others.
Love and… Continue
Posted on August 3, 2008 at 5:40pm — 1 Comment
Saving Grace
Posted on June 22, 2008 at 9:00am — 2 Comments
Letter to a Friend
This past month I had a miscarriage. I didn't even know I was pregnant because I wasn't very far into the pregnancy...maybe a month, month a… Continue
Posted on May 9, 2008 at 10:48pm — 7 Comments
Comment Wall (33 comments)
- At 11:06am on August 6, 2008,
Todd said… - Charity!! Yes, the Two Fest went great. We had three successful shows in Victoria, Nanaimo and Vancouver and got good turnouts. Europe was beautiful, I went to Stuttgart, down through Switzerland in Basal, Montreaux, Interlaken, and finally Geneva stopping in each of those places mostly to hike through the Alps there, though I spent a significant amount of time in art galleries and such...got to see the Beyeler Foundation finally, which is in a building designed by Renzo Piano. There was a remarkable Giacometti exhibition there and a beautiful Leger exhibit. After that I went to Milano where I spent some time in a Francis Bacon show and then left north to Val Di Genova to hike in the Italian Alps...after that was Austria for a week and a half with a stop in Zagrab and then to London where there was a great Twombly exhibit at the Tate...so yes...I'm happy...and sorry for the month of silence! 8-)
- At 1:37pm on July 1, 2008,
Roger Bush said… - Hello Charity,
thank you for inviting me to the discussion group. Yes you are right. I haven't had much time to look around the site yet but not for lack of trying. It seems every time I get a chance to do so I get interrupted. Lots of things going on right now. Am looking forward to getting into it though. See ya.
Roger
- At 2:17am on June 17, 2008,
Rafe said… - Don't be sorry. If you need to bounce something off me, just let me know. Take care P&L, Rafe
- At 9:01am on June 16, 2008,
Rafe said…
- Hi Charity, how are you? I haven't heard you for too long. P&L, Rafe
- At 2:21am on March 30, 2008,
SarahJMB said… - Its cool, know we all have busy lives ;)...hows ur path going charity? I'm still fighting my nature to go mingled with the 'masses'...I'm afraid I was given way too much energy to just be sitting and reflecting on Baha'i or spiritual texts..I figured Gods got my heart strings...and I tend to get pulled in the right direction if I veer off course...For me...I'm building a connection with earth by learning to garden...and trying to aply spirutual/ universal laws to life...i.e...serve my fellow brothers in wahtever way I can..I feel the time we have here is short...so I'm trying to make the most of each moment...:) ..Live and Love life thats my motto!!! (though it does test us sometimes)
Hope to talk again soon
:)
- At 3:54pm on March 29, 2008,
Kurt Hein said…
- In the morning
When I began to awake
It happened again
That feeling
That You, Beloved,
Had stood over me all night
Keeping watch,
That feeling
That as soon as I began to stir
You put Your lips on my forehead
And lit a Holy Lamp
Inside my heart.
--Hafiz
- At 2:11am on March 7, 2008,
SarahJMB said…
- I cant identify with ur outlook..about not being sure about the faith...I have the same battle...I believe God knows my motives and intentions, but I just can't pretend to be something i'm not...Faith for me has to hit my heart strings..as God does so..when I go off my path.
- At 2:07am on March 7, 2008,
SarahJMB said…
- Hi charity..Lisa said i should say hello..love ur pic!! and your page very cool!! :)
- At 1:22pm on February 11, 2008,
sue said… - Tell your sister that Nury and I would love to hear from her. One of the joys of being around for a number of years is that there are so many people out there that have given you the gift of their presence. 'Abdu'l-Baha wrote: "May you be drawn together in friendship and my extraordinary development make brotherhood a reality and truth." I think that if we really understood the importance of that concept we would each hold the other with such tenderness, affection, and respect that our entire world would be transformed.
- At 3:57pm on February 10, 2008,
sue said…
- hi Charity! So nice to hear from you after all these years. I hope all is well for you - I have some very sweet memories of you as a youth.
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